Summer at San Gold

Kourtney Kerelation provides a piquant account of her time spent working at San Gold in verse form.

For the summer months
I needed a good job
I’m not a bit Italian
So I couldn’t join a mob
I have a huge father
So I couldn’t be a stripper
So I came to San Gold
To be your guys’ nipper
They put me with my father
And a lot of other men
There’s Derek, Ron and Angel
Nelson, Pony and Len
They put me with some Newfie
To show me around the site
It was hard to understand him
Because he doesn’t say his words right
He showed me what I was driving
A tractor called a cat
Said we were headin’ to the ‘inge
And to remember my ‘ard ‘at
I was nervous at first
Had no clue about mining
I expected rocks to be sparkly
With gold, they’d be shining
But that’s not the way it was
The gold isn’t everywhere
IT’s dark, scary and wet
And it stinks like shit down there
I went down anyway
Cause I wanted to make mad cash
I realized if I wanted to blend in
I needed a big moustache
The mine was confusing
It sure baffled this lady
Wait, did you 8890
Or 8980?!?
It was so dark
I could hardly see
I swear some of those walls
Jumped out in front of me
A few of those dents are mine
This to you I confess
The only thing I had going for me
Is that I’d pass the piss test
9550 isn’t stocked up
And 8790 is too far
Brought the boys resin
When they were looking for rebar
I didn’t wanna come back
I felt like a tool
Dad said I had to
He wouldn’t pay for school
But I’m glad I came back
It woulda been a loss
I now know what rebar is
And I drive that cat like a boss
Now I swear like a miner
With tobacco stuffed lips
And when I play poker
I leave with all the chips
I had a great summer
A memory it will stand
Got proposed to so many times
I can’t count on two hands
Not only was I lucky enough
To have a wonderful crew
But I was with both C & D
So I got to have two
But summer time is over
I’ve got to say goodbye
I’ve never concentrated so hard
On trying not to cry
Someone’s gotta take over my duties
In this San Gold plantation
Just clean up after all your boys
And put flowers in the refuge stations
Someone’s gotta help the environmentalists
With the saving of the earth
And someone’s gotta decorate the safety room
On Paul’s date of birth
Don’t forget to give James a hard time
About having no hair
I love all you buttheads
Take care down there <3
          – by Kourtney Kerelation